Sunday, December 22, 2013

complacency

Humans like to be in their comfort zone. Hang out w the friends they r confortable with, sleep when u r tired, be with the same guy u were with for the last 10 years because he knows u for who u are and is always there for you.

Until you lose them. I never realised how often hair drops and you have to sweep the floor until I moved out on my own. I never realised how much time do I have to spend ironing a weeks clothes until I had to iron them myself. I never had a problem with little affection until I never get them.

Thats how humans are. They take things around them for granted. They get used to the constants in life till they no longer have them.

Humans are lazy creatures. They become lazy in work when they know their job. They know they are not gg to get fired so long as they do the minimum.

They become lazy in the relationship because they know they are already together. They take for granted that the other half will always be there. Tidy the house, clean the fan, wash the clothes, drive to work, buy breakfast, etc.

Then the dates, the sex, the fun, the dressing up, the crazy things they do, ends.

They became staying at home, being a deadfish, doing the same things every weekend; sleep mostly. Tiredness is always the excuse. And one day, the other party will b tired of all these and throw in the towel.

It takes two hands to clap and all everyone needs, is to be appreciated. Make a little effort and all will be happy. Show them you are appreciative, smile and thank them; seeing your love ones happy makes any job worth it, make up to them in little ways, have fun together, set aside one day for date, sex, fun, or anything that makes them happy. takes a little but it means alot.

Have you done what you need to do today to make someone important in your life happy?

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Thursday, December 5, 2013

3rd week

I can't imagine life after when its already like this now.

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Saturday, November 30, 2013

How do I feel love and wanted?

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Sunday, November 24, 2013

Emptiness

Why do people have emotions? After the emotions gets washed out, it's just emptiness.

What can fill this emptiness? Love? Life? Happiness? All of these dun last forever,  they run out, and leave you dry. And then, what do you have to turn to to fill yourself up with next? What do we live for?

Why are we living?

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Saturday, November 23, 2013

What is it like to be the one waiting? If you keep saying u r gg to join me and thats the thing that keeps me from resting,  den no morr waiting.

What is it like to be the only one who wants? Time with u, intimacy, etc. Well one day, we will just find someone or something else who would appreciate that and even die for it 

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Saturday, November 9, 2013

Changed

Meeting with my friends made me realised how much this relationship changed me. Its so sad but I have no solution for this.

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Sunday, November 3, 2013

Latest read

Popped by the book store last night before watching Thor in 3D. Picked up Jeffrey Archer's Sin of the Father and finished reading it already. A nice and clever sequel to the last book yet again (was it path of glory? Lol. Cant remember) waiting for the next book to be available in paperback.

Cy suggested that I get the ebook but some things just cannot be replaced. The excitement of getting your hands on the book and the fresh book smell when u flip the book pages. Not something u get with hard cover books.

Anyway, on the book; Archer is truly an awesome writer. Although like Dan Brown, his plot is always structured, but his stories are always structured with a twist in the tale. It is never predictable because you expect a twist but yet, you really dont know what twist it is till you reach the end. He's one author I've read his every book and still a fan since... 13years ago.  Boy we are old.

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Saturday, November 2, 2013

proven

I guess it's proven.  The less u love,  the less u care. Guess it's back to building my walls. :)

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Monday, October 28, 2013

Missing you

It's time like this that i miss you a lot and wonder if you miss me too.
Im barely getting by 2 nights without u let alone to say 3.

Sigh. If only you knew.

Sunday, October 27, 2013

Letting Go

Letting Go 詞曲:蔡健雅

這是一封離別信
寫下我該離開的原因
我在你生命中扮演的角色太模糊了
你對我常忽冷忽熱
我到底是情人還是朋友
愛你是否不該太認真
That's why

I'm letting go 
我終於捨得為你放開手
因為愛你愛到我心痛
但你卻不懂
I'm letting go
你對一切的軟弱與怠惰
讓人懷疑你是否愛過我 真的愛過我
為你再也找不到藉口
That's when we should let it go

你是呼吸的空氣
脫離不了的地心引力
你在我生命中 曾經是我存在的原因
或許就像他們說
愛情只會讓人變愚蠢
自作多情 愛得太天真
That's why

在夜深人靜裡想著
心不安 血越沸騰
我無助 好想哭
我找不到退路

在夜深人靜裡寫著
心慢慢就越變冷
我不恨 也不哭
我的眼淚 早已哭乾了
So real. So real. 

踮起腳尖愛

踮起腳尖愛(洪佩瑜)

作詞:小寒
作曲:蔡健雅
編曲:Derek Chua

舞鞋 穿了洞 裂了縫 預備迎接一個夢
OK繃 遮住痛 要把蒼白都填充
勇氣惶恐 我要用哪一種
面對他 一百零一分笑容

等待 的時空 有點重 重得時針走不動
無影蹤 他始終 不曾降臨生命中
我好想懂 誰放我手心裡捧
幸福啊 依然長長的人龍

想踮起腳尖找尋愛 遠遠的存在
我來不及 說聲嗨 影子就從人海暈開

才踮起腳尖的期待 只怕被虧待
我搆不著還 微笑忍耐
等你回過頭來

Saturday, October 26, 2013

我懷念的

我問為什麼 那女孩傳簡訊給我 
而你為什麼 不解釋 低著頭沉默 
我該相信你很愛我 不願意敷衍我 
還是明白你已不想挽回什麼 

想問為什麼 我不再是你的快樂 
可是為什麼 卻苦笑說我都懂了 
自尊常常將人拖著 把愛都走曲折 
假裝了解是怕 真相太赤裸裸 
狼狽比失去難受 

我懷念的是無話不說 
我懷念的是一起做夢 
我懷念的是爭吵以後 
還是想要愛你的衝動 

我記得那年生日 
也記得那一首歌 
記得那片星空 
最緊的右手 
最暖的胸口 (誰記得) 
誰忘了 

我懷念的是無言感動 
我懷念的是絕對熾熱 
我懷念的是你很激動 
求我原諒抱得我都痛 
我記得你在背後 
我記得我顫抖著 
記得感覺洶湧 
最美的煙火 
最長的相擁 

誰愛的太自由 
誰過頭太遠了 
誰要走我的心 
誰忘了那就是承諾 
誰自顧自地走 
誰忘了看著我 
誰讓愛變沉重 
誰忘了要給你溫柔 (我懷念的) 

我還有想要愛你的衝動 
我記得那年生日 
也記得那一首歌 
記得那片星空 
最緊的右手 
最暖的胸口 我放手 

我讓座 
假灑脫 
誰懂我多麼不捨得 

太愛了 
所以我 
沒有哭 
沒有說



Results of ktv last night. This song, is something really close to heart, and close to my situation and my feelings. No more crying from now.
想問為什麼 我不再是你的快樂 
可是為什麼 卻苦笑說我都懂了 

我都懂了. 

無底洞

作詞:小寒 
作曲:黃韻仁 

有時寂寞太沉重 
身邊彷彿只是觀眾 
妳的感受沒有人懂 
難得誰自告奮勇 

體貼讓人格外感動 
愛上他前後用不到一分鐘 

嘿 
回想戀情的內容 
有誰想過有始有終 
不過是一時脆弱讓人放縱 

穿梭一段 又另一段 感情中 
愛為何總 填不滿 又掏不空 
很快就風起雲湧 人類的心 
是個無底洞 

嘗試親吻 嘗試擁抱 或溝通 
沒有好感 在嘗試也沒有用 
大多數人都相同 
喜歡的只是愛情的臉孔 

沒有誰背後慫恿 
不該愛又愛的衝動 
是你害怕孤單而拼命補充


That sums up how love is. 
Why would anyone want that?

我真的受伤了

主唱:张学友 
作词:王菀之 
作曲:王菀之 

窗外阴天了 音乐低声了 我的心开始想你了 

灯光也暗了 音乐低声了 口中的棉花糖也融化了 
窗外阴天了 人是无聊了 我的心开始想你了 

电话响起了 你要说话了 
还以为你心里 对我又想念了 
怎么你声音 变得冷淡了 
是你变了 是你变了 

灯光熄灭了 音乐静止了 滴下的眼泪已停不住了 
天下起雨了 人是不快乐 我的心真的受伤了





Friday, October 25, 2013

Refreshed

I think I need to pick up a new sport or hobby.
Go out, find something that takes up my time and enrich myself.

After all, I don't live for anyone else. And we all only live once.
The harder you try to live for someone and love someone, you will only end up hurt.

So the best person to love is yourself.
I guess after the haircut and the overnight crying, a lot really came to me.

Why force you to give me assurance and spend time together with me when your heart is somewhere else?Why do I even bother texting so much when that's not what you wants? Why am I the only person bothered about not spending one night sleeping apart? Am I the only one who misses?

Then I realised. I cannot depend on someone, anyone, to make me happy. Whatever makes me happy, may not make everyone happy. Happiness, is really my choice. Sadly, I'm happier without revolving my life around you. When I stop caring, stop being concerned, stop missing, stop thinking about you, I realised that hey, I'm actually really enjoying what I'm doing.

Text someone else to make me happy, read a book to wind down and relax, meet up friends to hang out. These are things that are supposed to feel good, but when I do these things when I built my happiness and sheer purpose here around you and it doesn't reciprocate, it doesn't.

You shall get back the girl you liked in the first place.
And I'd like to say, the game that we played before we were together, is still true in a different context in a relationship.

Whoever love more, loses.

Thursday, October 24, 2013

be happy

I remembered warning u about how complicated, torn and broken a person I am. And im not good for relationship. And if I do give a try,  it would be my last shot.

You said u want to make me happy. U said nobody can live alone. So I said yes.

And now, being with me doesnt make u happy. Maybe u should seek for ur own happiness.

You know, this will b my last shot. If this doesn't make u happy, and I still remain unhappy, n none of us have a solution...

When theres a will, theres a way. If only one of us work on it, den its not working.

I made the choice n I say it again, I just wan u to b happy. Do whatever u like and b what u wanna b. Theres no need to consider abt me. Because there will b minimal me.

U fell in love w the girl who wasnt in love w u. N now u hate the girl whos in love. Irony.

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Tuesday, October 22, 2013

I always thought all we need is more concern, think- about how to love you more, and do- within our means to keep it going. All I do now is tear every 2 minutes at my desk, it's so unbearable. And all I can do at home is either to hug or cry to myself to sleep.


All you do is ignore me, and live in your world. Without me.
Since I'm not what you first fell in love with, there's no need to bother about how to love me more, no need to try and keep it alive.

Cant you tell that I'm putting in effort to want to talk? Be nice, be lovely and all? And you think one word answer is encouraging? If you want this to work, we have to work together. I apologised and I know I should not have said such hurtful words and be so sticky. But it will not work if it's just me trying on my own. Im running out of fuel. And if you dont jump in soon, I might not make it.


Then again, all you need is a traditional wife who just take whatever given right? Shall I be that for you?

Monday, October 21, 2013

Im losing myself, Im losing my mind but there's no one to wipe those tears away. 
No one to hear my unspoken troubles. 

No one.

Friday, October 11, 2013

Confused

If the more you think about something, the more it doesn't seem right, will you take action on it or will you choose to ignore it?

Would you go on with your life lying to yourself it's alright, or would you bear the pain and walk away?

Friday, September 6, 2013

Running Man Fan Meeting Singapore 2013

Running man is coming to SINGAPORE!
I wonder why Kwang Soo is not coming but I'm totally fine man. LOL
But sadly JaeSuk is not coming though.

But then....


MONDAY COUPLE! <3

Should I save for Japan or succumb to temptations?

Friday, August 30, 2013

In the blink of an eye, it's August already. So many things has happened and we're soon going to be done with 2013. 

I wonder sometimes if I play a significant part in any one person's life because I dont think I do. 

Friday, August 23, 2013

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

so near yet so far

Im here. Im always here. But u r always in ur own world.

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Friday, July 19, 2013

Weekend!

Finally a weekend with no work and nothing! did plentiful housework and am surfing now.
That's such a nice feeling. :D

Thinking of picking back Japanese from where I left off.
Hmm. wondering if this would be a right time to start while my team is still not as stable as i wish it to be yet?

Sunday, July 7, 2013

all's well?

 i am skeptical if it will work out like it's supposed to be after all.

Friday, June 7, 2013

Jay Chou Opus world tour concert 2013

I'm on the way to see my dearest now! Can't wait! It has been years since I hear u live. I'm sure I will have an awesome time today! Yea!

Many people aare skeptical abt Jay; his mumbling lyrics, raps n attitude. But I really like him for his frankness, musical talents, and his persistence in having his own style. How many Singer / artiste can say that they can do what they want and insist on the music they do without interference from the management, record company, etc to sing a more clubish more happen, smth easier to sing, etc, so that it will play more often on the radio, in ktvs n clubs?

To those who weren't able to get the tickets, I will listen ur share!

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Sunday, June 2, 2013

happy!

After the longest time, I finally have the heart to part w my money n got myself a pretty diamond ring from citigems. It was love at first sight n it fills up the emptiness I had. It was the best time to do it too cos of gss! never was someone who love shopping or rush at sales. But It's really worth it to buy smth pretty like this during gss! I only paid abt half of what It's original price was. Haha!

I'm complete.

Man don't have to understand jewellery. They just need to get that women loves it. :)

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Monday, May 27, 2013

What's the point of remembering dates n times when we don't do anything?

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Friday, May 24, 2013

distractions.

How do I could I catch ur attention u r just very preoccupied with what u have in hand?

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Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Day 3

It's 22 may. Exactly one years ago that we first met.

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Monday, May 20, 2013

day 2

Puffy eyes. If he's getting on with his life. So should I. What am I clinging on to?

I can change, But I can't learn to trust again. I'm just an empty shell.

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day 1

I got by. Worked a little. Teared a little. But I made it thru the day. W one meal n little to say. I guess it's just a passing phase that I will get by one day.

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Sunday, May 19, 2013

Why? I wanna go home. But there's nothing to return to.

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Sunday, April 21, 2013

I'm lost. I dunno What to do w my life now. What's there to look forward to anymore?

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Saturday, April 20, 2013

I hate being a Pisces.

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Saturday, January 5, 2013

[Part 2] Pator Weekend: Universal Studio Singapore

SORRY FOR THE LATE OVERDUE POST. 
Life has been extremely busy since I started work but so far so good!

Before I started work at my new workplace, I've been dying to go on an adventure weekend with my xdd, so after Banyan Tree Spa and all on Saturday, we head down to Universal Studios on Sunday!

Knowing the weather in December, we didn't "decide" to go until we see the weather for ourselves, and when we're up, the sky looks alright and NEA webby states that South part is the ONLY part in Singapore which will not rain (cloudy whole day) today. So after waiting for my xdd to wake up, we head to Universal Studios!

had I joined my coy first, I would have saved $28 on these small paper. 
admission is $74/adult. 

grab a drink before going in!
everything inside will be more expensive!

my xdd~ <3

right before the mini coaster ride!

@ far far away land~

yup, he end up carrying my bag most of the time. HEHEHE

Wee!!!

It's our turn next!

Trying to look like a police but end up looking like a villain stealing police car
hungry hungry! POTATO!

Tips on going USS: 
Go on a Sunday, it's much less crowded and the queuing time will be shorter for the rides.
If a ride has waiting time of more than 20 mins, take something else and come back later. 
If you walk for a long time in for the Mummy's ride and still dont see the end of the line, dont worry, you are on the right way. Dont stop. :)

Enjoy!

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

bye bye 2012 n hello 2013!

Last yr was with ups n downs. I completed my first half marathon, signed a credit card, finally changed my job plus up title, knew a bunch of crazy ppl from edmw, got a bf 2.5 years younger than me, stepped foot on Phuket, skinny dipped (bucket list), skipped the most famie'erly gathering and functions, and had a besties photoshoot with with my wgf. It was a fulfilling year despite an agonizing non-relationship before my bf came along.


This yr, I started my year well with besties, work late, but I look forward to what 2013 have installed for me. 

I want to catch my role as fast as possible and b stable in my job, explore new places in the world, hanami, be a more peaceful person within, manage my finance better and love myself. 

My resolution? Be happy. I think that's the one thing easier said than done. But hey, happiness is a choice. So stay happy!