Offer

I started this blog thinking that in many many years to come, when I am going to run out of things to share with my grandchild (ren), I will be able to revisit this and find a story. However, there seem to be more sad and trying story from some time ago.

As bleak as the situation is, as much as people tells me he was after other girls and if given a chance, he would ditch me for another better girl, I stopped getting affected. I stopped getting affected not because it doesn't hurt, but because I trust him. I trust that as we agreed 2 years ago, if he find another girl, break up with me before doing anything with her. It's the last respect you can give to the relationship.

And therefore, I accepted his unreasonable unsettling offer, knowing that I would might not be able to handle it. This goes a little across the line of trust. Trust is gained, not asked for or forced. However, What's forever if we cannot even get pass 2 months? What else can I do? In this process, I find that he's right. I learnt to let go.

I let go of a lot, but as I let go and care less, I also realise that I no longer feel what I used to feel. I feel major construction going on and the high-rise walls that used to be, risen again. And it's an accumulated feeling. Over time, will this period make things better? Or for worse?

Somehow it doesn't feel like it'd work. If I don't do anything, how will it rekindle? Or maybe that's exactly what he doesn't want to happen.

:(