A Yearly Affair

Its this time of the year again. My last 2 hours of my 27years and say hello to 28. At 21, I imagined that I would be happily married with 2 kids, watching them grow up, planning for their future, maybe going into my business. At 21, I never imagined that my 27th year of age would be spent breaking up, moving out, drinking my sorrows, being unhappy sober, trying to find a reason for living, not to mention that the gloomy economy that came at such uncandid time.

However, I would also have not expected that 27 is my time of refinding myself. Redefining who I am as a person. Loving myself for who I am. Singularly.

Of growing closer to my family. 

Of understanding what really matters in life.

Of seizing the day. To never waste a a moment being unhappy when you can choose to be happy.

Of how life is so short. Live awesomely.

Of how time wasted today, will never come back again.

Of how to step out of comfort, and do something you will not regret not doing.

Of accepting who I am, and not pretend to be who is acceptable.

And at 27 years old, when I least expected it, when I was pretty awesome and kickass on my own, I found my Mr Awesome whos as awesome as I am.

We share similar likes and dislikes, he likes me for who I am (or at least I think he does!), and I adore him who who he is.

Yes we have flaws, but it's always fun time together.

Turning 28, I've already decided that my best gift for the year, is having someone to spend the rest of the year with. Growing old, aging gracefully.

This year! I will be the first to wish myself; happy birthday Shan! Have an exciting, awesome 28th! :)

Thank you for all who have been part of my 27years and in advance for tolerating my annoying pet peeves n nazi works for another! >:)

We wish honeymoon period last forever. 

:)

Lost and found

Sometimes the moment you stop looking, you'll find it.

I lost my specs on the 1st night in Bali, we looked high and low for it but to no avail. Suddenly, when I've given up on looking, I found it in the shower on the last morning!

Although along the way, there are episodes of contact lens running, uncomfortness etc, I resigned to fate that I had lost my specs forever and had to made do with seeing with my contact lens or nothing at all. However, my eyes just recovered from an infection. Doesn't make sense to continue wearing it if it doesnt give me clearer vision. An idea struck me then. Ive 1 pair of eyes and a pair of lens, both degree are lower than my actual degree. How about swapping it?

I swapped it and enjoyed the rest of my night at kudeta.

The next morning, I found my specs and realised that I haven't lost it.

Then it struck me.

Its the same for everything else. When you have it, you don't treasure it enough. When you lose them and realised you can't do without it, you try so hard to find it back.

To no avail. And you try n try till you lost hope. Till you stopped trying and at some point, you will realise that hey, there's an alternative for you. And alternative was good! It works!

And when you are finally on your own and happy, you found your specs. You found what you were looking for all along.

You found what was comfortable.

And that is life isn't it? You find things when you least expects to. What you yearn for come to you when you least expects. But remember this. When you lose it once and realise the importance of it. Don't lose it again.

Me? I want to say I found it and not lose it again. Hold on for dear life and be duper happy. However, I'm not quite sure yet if this specs are mine. Maybe I should try wearing it for a while and find out.

Be Brave

What's there to be afraid of? What's there to lose? Truth they say, hurts.

At this point, I say, it's the things that you keep to yourself, that kills.

Life is already so short, why bother with the things that doesn't matter? Why bother with the little things that wouldn't matter in a year or there about?

If you just sit still, nothing's ever gonna change but if you step out of it, out of your comfort zone, you might just, possibly get that little chance, to change your life. Would you step out? Or would you fear what's next? Would you risk getting hurt? Or would you rather die on your own?

Nothing is ever going to change, if you are sit tight and keep to yourself. Nothing in this world will miraculously happen when you do nothing. And for the better or worst, I'm going to give this a shot. Why not? We only live one life.

Life

I've recently started taking Korean classes at ezSAM. I'm only through the 2nd class but it's fun! I've almost forgotten how fun is it to pick up a new language. 

Looking forward to watching Korean dramas and variety shows without subtitles! Heh. It's refreshing to occupy my life with something I really enjoy. And on life, it is finally getting back on track. Just a little bit more. Just a little bit more to my new life. A new beginning. 

Although it is a little scary but it is what makes life interesting. Exciting. 

And something to look forward to. 

For once, I've something to look forward to, on my own. Something not revolving around someone else that excites me. Oh this is just all too new to me.

All my life, I always thought being with someone, being attached brings out the best in me. Being attached half my life, I never knew how to be on my own.

I never knew how liberating solitude is. I've always feared solitude. I'm blood type A. We indulge in small constants. I've never knew how is it like to live alone. To live without depending on someone. To live without caring a damn for the rest of the world.

But now I know.

I never knew how liberating it can be to be on my own.

How it is a such an experience to be on your own. How we do not need to depend on another being to bring out the best in us. What it really means to be awesome by yourself. What it means to stay single and not be bitter with the rest of your friends on Facebook looking happily married.

It is ok to be single. It is ok to to indulge in yourself for a while.

Its ok to be single until you find someone who appreciates you for who you are. The good, the bad, everything that you are. it is ok.

AND if someone tries to change you, leave. It takes more effort to mask you really are. FIND SOMEONE who love you for you.

Dont let anyone change you.

When you finally walk out of it, you will then realise that you are missing a whole new exciting world outside.

Which might get me to where I actually want to get.

I'm glad I took so long to get over. I'm sure everything happens for a reason. :)