人, 本来就是脆弱的。
心, 本来就是感性的。
为何人总是不会珍惜拥有的。
把本有的那颗心砸碎、摧毁。
为何心总是放不下失去的。
坚持着曾经、过去的幸福。
幸福走了、心碎了。
希望毁了、情也冷了。
伤害只会让人领悟残忍。
哭泣只会让人看到卑微。
人生短短，如果情不带给你快乐, 你又何必勉强呢？
Wednesday, June 25, 2014
Offer
I started this blog thinking that in many many years to come, when I am going to run out of things to share with my grandchild (ren), I will be able to revisit this and find a story. However, there seem to be more sad and trying story from some time ago.
As bleak as the situation is, as much as people tells me he was after other girls and if given a chance, he would ditch me for another better girl, I stopped getting affected. I stopped getting affected not because it doesn't hurt, but because I trust him. I trust that as we agreed 2 years ago, if he find another girl, break up with me before doing anything with her. It's the last respect you can give to the relationship.
And therefore, I accepted his unreasonable unsettling offer, knowing that I would might not be able to handle it. This goes a little across the line of trust. Trust is gained, not asked for or forced. However, What's forever if we cannot even get pass 2 months? What else can I do? In this process, I find that he's right. I learnt to let go.
I let go of a lot, but as I let go and care less, I also realise that I no longer feel what I used to feel. I feel major construction going on and the high-rise walls that used to be, risen again. And it's an accumulated feeling. Over time, will this period make things better? Or for worse?
Somehow it doesn't feel like it'd work. If I don't do anything, how will it rekindle? Or maybe that's exactly what he doesn't want to happen.
:(
As bleak as the situation is, as much as people tells me he was after other girls and if given a chance, he would ditch me for another better girl, I stopped getting affected. I stopped getting affected not because it doesn't hurt, but because I trust him. I trust that as we agreed 2 years ago, if he find another girl, break up with me before doing anything with her. It's the last respect you can give to the relationship.
And therefore, I accepted his unreasonable unsettling offer, knowing that I would might not be able to handle it. This goes a little across the line of trust. Trust is gained, not asked for or forced. However, What's forever if we cannot even get pass 2 months? What else can I do? In this process, I find that he's right. I learnt to let go.
I let go of a lot, but as I let go and care less, I also realise that I no longer feel what I used to feel. I feel major construction going on and the high-rise walls that used to be, risen again. And it's an accumulated feeling. Over time, will this period make things better? Or for worse?
Somehow it doesn't feel like it'd work. If I don't do anything, how will it rekindle? Or maybe that's exactly what he doesn't want to happen.
:(
Sunday, June 22, 2014
Trust
Trust is built over time and all it takes is one small wrong step and you would have broken it.
Letting go and leaving you alone, is just my resignation to fate.
Whatever is mine will come back. Whatever doesn't come back is probably not mine to begin with.
Letting go and leaving you alone, is just my resignation to fate.
Whatever is mine will come back. Whatever doesn't come back is probably not mine to begin with.
Saturday, June 21, 2014
Happy Times
When we were happier, skinnier and in love. When things were less complicated and we are just together because of love.
Recovery
Spiritual cleansing. Get totally drunk.
Feels like sh*t the next day in terms of the heavy head n lack of sleep n intoxication. But at the same time, triumphant that amidst all, you are on the way to recovery.
Feels like sh*t the next day in terms of the heavy head n lack of sleep n intoxication. But at the same time, triumphant that amidst all, you are on the way to recovery.
Thursday, June 19, 2014
10 Difficult Things To Do When Your Relationship Is in Turmoil
If you are on the shorter end of the stick and trying to do everything to win your partner back, these are 10 difficult things for you to do, but necessary if you want even a hint of chance / hope to make your partner fall in love with you again.
1. Stop Staring at your Phone
Stop staring at your phone every minute to see if he's going to text you. When he is, he is. Staring at your phone doesn't make him text you more.
Avoid texting him every hour too unless there's genuinely something you want to share with him or something you need to ask him. Avoid asking things that are intrusive and insecure. Avoid asking if he loves you n expect him to answer every hour. Get a life, talk to someone else, get distracted. Think of something that can keep you occupied for at least awhile so u can stay off the phone.
Avoid texting him every hour too unless there's genuinely something you want to share with him or something you need to ask him. Avoid asking things that are intrusive and insecure. Avoid asking if he loves you n expect him to answer every hour. Get a life, talk to someone else, get distracted. Think of something that can keep you occupied for at least awhile so u can stay off the phone.
2. Talk About It
It might not be to 10 other people or their mother but you need to talk about it. Talk about it to yourself, talk to your partner, you might be surprise at the wonders mere talking can do.
3. Avoid Negative Friends
Naturally, everyone will have some negative friends. Friends who constantly tells you the flaws of your partner and you deserve better, friends who tells you I dont think there's any hope in trying to win him/her back, why not just quit and suffer the heart break less. AVOID THEM AT ALL COST. The situation is already bleak enough without their 2 cents.
4. Hang Out with Friends Who are Happily Attached
This is tough. Especially when they share with you how they overcome it all and became stronger together. But it's better to hang out with them, as much as they are sweet and all in front of you; unintentionally.
Learn from their experience, suck their positivity and tell yourself that if you manage to work things out, you can be like them too.
5. Cry
Many may think that when your relationship is in turmoil and you are trying to salvage things, you should not cry. That's wrong. Crying is a motion that relieves you, that makes you think better.
Holding it in is just temporary trying to hold a strong front and to hold back your thinking. So be alone, and cry as much as you can. Be in the showers and cry till there's no more tears left.
Once you cross the line and can no longer squeeze a single tear out, you are ready to think of what's next.
6. Don't Listen to Music
Radio, playlist, songs, musical, anything. Avoid listening to all forms of music because happy songs will trigger what used to be and more often than not, emo songs will activate the hidden tap even after all that crying you did in no. 5.
7. Find a Distraction
Keep yourself busy! Do what you havent been doing on your own since you got together! It can be making new friends, a new hobby, blogging, a new goal to work on, going back to the lifestyle you were in before, playing games, being online. Just. Do. Something. Anything. (Note: that doesn't include finding a new partner or cheating if you want the relationship to work)
8. Make a To Do List
Make a list of things you want to do for your partner in this period. Give yourself a month or two. It can be a gift, a love note, a date, or anything that you can do to or with your partner. And work on it. This can be your No. 7 too but don't have a 1000 points list. Keep it short. 10-20 depending on the duration.
9. Put Your Best Foot Forward
And then you are ready. Put on your best smile and show them what you are. Show them that amidst all these, your love is what keeps you strong and you are ready to give more. You are ready to make things work and you are ready for the challenges ahead. Words can't bring you down. You are confident of your love and that it would bring you anywhere regardless of what challenges awaits.
Many may think that when your relationship is in turmoil and you are trying to salvage things, you should not cry. That's wrong. Crying is a motion that relieves you, that makes you think better.
Holding it in is just temporary trying to hold a strong front and to hold back your thinking. So be alone, and cry as much as you can. Be in the showers and cry till there's no more tears left.
Once you cross the line and can no longer squeeze a single tear out, you are ready to think of what's next.
6. Don't Listen to Music
Radio, playlist, songs, musical, anything. Avoid listening to all forms of music because happy songs will trigger what used to be and more often than not, emo songs will activate the hidden tap even after all that crying you did in no. 5.
7. Find a Distraction
Keep yourself busy! Do what you havent been doing on your own since you got together! It can be making new friends, a new hobby, blogging, a new goal to work on, going back to the lifestyle you were in before, playing games, being online. Just. Do. Something. Anything. (Note: that doesn't include finding a new partner or cheating if you want the relationship to work)
8. Make a To Do List
Make a list of things you want to do for your partner in this period. Give yourself a month or two. It can be a gift, a love note, a date, or anything that you can do to or with your partner. And work on it. This can be your No. 7 too but don't have a 1000 points list. Keep it short. 10-20 depending on the duration.
9. Put Your Best Foot Forward
And then you are ready. Put on your best smile and show them what you are. Show them that amidst all these, your love is what keeps you strong and you are ready to give more. You are ready to make things work and you are ready for the challenges ahead. Words can't bring you down. You are confident of your love and that it would bring you anywhere regardless of what challenges awaits.
10. Be Yourself
I know this is easier said than done. Especially if it comes as a shock to you, the cooling off or breaking up period is the period you break down and cry for no reason everywhere, you are eccentric, feelings are everywhere, everything reminds you of him/her, every song sounds like it's written for you, and there is no source of outlet and of course, your partner is no longer there to offer you support.
However, be yourself still! Because that is what your partner loved in the first place. Look through old photos and memories of happy times, focus not on why is it like this now but how you can be that happy person in the picture.
Love is effortless when you are in love. But it takes effort to maintain the love and a lot of work to keep or rekindle the spark. So talk to them, fall in love again and again and again! And everything you do would be effortless again.
Love is effortless when you are in love. But it takes effort to maintain the love and a lot of work to keep or rekindle the spark. So talk to them, fall in love again and again and again! And everything you do would be effortless again.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)